Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Vogue, hire me

Wow, it's been ages since I last blogged. Here is my first attempt in being a fashion critic.

8 things a guy hates about, but the girls do not know

Many girls in Malaysia have the habit of reading imported fashion magazines to get fashion tips. Well, honestly, I don’t think this is a very good idea. Fashion magazines are written by people who are too absorbed in the fashion world, and their interpretation of beauty tends to be a little detached from the public. The fact is, if you are a girl looking for advice, you should consult a regular guy like me, because my view represents the common view of countless males in this country. So I’m going to be brutally honest and tell you 8 things that usually girls like to do, but not necessarily attractive to males.

Smokey eyes - Avril Lavigne has done it. Faye Wong has done it. Basically, they surround their eyes with a big ring of black color. Now, I’m not sure how anyone would find this sexy. They look like they are very tired, and they need a lot of sleep. Sometimes it gives me an impression that they have been beaten up. Anyway, I have the urge of calling cops and get them some help.

Excessive hair highlights – You can color your hair in 5 different colors, but seriously, it looks like somebody has accidentally poured some ice-creams onto your head. Nobody would remember your face. All a guy can remember of you is your hair.

Black nail – If you have long, black nails. I would be quite worried if you were to shake hands with me. Did you just dig up some dirt? Are they clean? Are you sick?

Excessive body piercing – I know that of a lot of girls love to pierce their ears to a degree every inch of the ears is covered by some kind of metal. Well, I’m not going to stop you if you are a member of a heavy metal band. But if you are just a regular girl, I would find this quite weird and unnecessary.

Huge sun glass – I don’t know who started this, but lately a lot of girls hide half their faces behind an extremely large sunglass. Are you trying to send a message that your face is very small and cute? Well, the fact is, you look like a kid who has stolen your dad’s sunglass. Go home and play with your dolls.

Platform boots – Some girls usually wear platform boots to make themselves look taller, slimmer, but the fact is, usually this has the exact opposite effect: It leads guys to focus on your boots and recognize that your legs are really short.

Skirt-Pants – It’s common to see girls combine skirt with pants. I don’t know. This is really a weird combination. They are not feminine. They are not casual. They just look like somebody is in the middle of trying out a new skirt, and they are too lazy to drop the pants that they are wearing.

Lolita – Lolita fashion is a style of dress in which one attempts to look excessively cute, to the point of appearing childish. This originates from Japan, but now you can see some copycats in KL. I would like to give you a candy, if you walk past me.

What makes a girl hot? There is no straight-forward answer. If you are already quite cute or good looking, any excessive or abnormal fashion is going to distract people from focusing on your beauty. If you are not a born beauty, any excessive or abnormal fashion is going to magnify your defects. The fact is, when you least expect it, somebody would find you cute, even if you are in the most embarrassing state – ice-cream all over your mouth, or that you are yawning.

Life is weird, and yet, it can be so simple. Click here if you need to know what a 100% perfect girl is like.


Blogger 非舞者 said...

Haha, that's hilarious.

In my case, dyed hair reminds me of China. It looks like everyone woman in China has had their hair dyed.

By the omission of these, I guess you don't mind glossy lipstick, fake eyelashes :) amongst other more subtle err embellishments.

11/17/2006 10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Undanceable is so right. Luckily I"m not in China. The unbelievable thing is even my mother was persuaded to color her hair before she went to visit me. Weird!

11/18/2006 3:33 AM  
Anonymous ken woon said...

one thing worth to note is that the more trendy you are today, you will appear to be more weird when you look at your photo some ten years later, and wonder why would somebody on earth ever dress like that. remember zhao wei's make up in shao lin soccer? and those 'modern' people hated most by Master Q (a.k.a. lao fu zi)in the comic?

11/24/2006 1:10 PM  

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