A farewell song
A few days before 2009, during one hot afternoon mom casually asked me to pay a visit to grandmother, who was lying on a sick bed in a private care home in Sungai Buloh. She could no longer walk since she broke her thigh 3 years ago.
"Mom.... not now... kind of tired".
Maybe it was the the heat out there that discouraged my visit to grandma. But I guess more importantly I was not in a good mood. I was troubled by the uncertainty over my job. I wasn't going anywhere until I have my career sorted out. I know she was terminally ill but I thought I would have another chance to see her again.
How wrong could I be.
When she was drawing her last breath around 5am, January 16th, I was sleeping sweet and sound in a luxurious suite in Venetian, Macau.
On 14th, grandmother's bowel movement produced lots of blood. She was in the toilet, sitting on the lavoratory, with her head lowered, hands trembling.
On 15th, her condition worsoned. Around 8pm, she complained to my mom that there was immense pain on her back. Mom used a towel to rub her back in order to ease her pain. Mom tucked her in and said good bye.
Few hours later, at the dawn, mom rushed back to grandma's house after getting a frantic call. Mom reached there 5 minutes too late. Mom used her fingers to touch her nostrils. The was no air coming out or going in. That concluded her 87 years of lifetime on earth.
I flew home from Macau the very same day she passed away.
During the funeral, mom was recounting an interesting incident to the relatives. Mom said a few days ago she brought Yan Yan (my girl) to see grandma, and mom asked Yan Yan if she could sing a song to grandma. To everyone's surprise, she sang a song that carried more weight than any other song. The song is Shi Shang Zhi You Ma Ma Hao (Mom is the nicest person in the world). She was just 2 years and 5 months old.
So I missed my farewell. Yan Yan was filling in for me. And she had done such a good job. I held her tight in my arms. I was both proud and ashamed.
Grandma was buried in the morning of January 18th. While everyone was standing up solemnly for some rituals, Yan Yan walked around, looked up, made funny faces. A few of the aunties could not help but smile at her.
Yan Yan continued to mess around and she had no idea what a good deed she had done.
"Mom.... not now... kind of tired".
Maybe it was the the heat out there that discouraged my visit to grandma. But I guess more importantly I was not in a good mood. I was troubled by the uncertainty over my job. I wasn't going anywhere until I have my career sorted out. I know she was terminally ill but I thought I would have another chance to see her again.
How wrong could I be.
When she was drawing her last breath around 5am, January 16th, I was sleeping sweet and sound in a luxurious suite in Venetian, Macau.
On 14th, grandmother's bowel movement produced lots of blood. She was in the toilet, sitting on the lavoratory, with her head lowered, hands trembling.
On 15th, her condition worsoned. Around 8pm, she complained to my mom that there was immense pain on her back. Mom used a towel to rub her back in order to ease her pain. Mom tucked her in and said good bye.
Few hours later, at the dawn, mom rushed back to grandma's house after getting a frantic call. Mom reached there 5 minutes too late. Mom used her fingers to touch her nostrils. The was no air coming out or going in. That concluded her 87 years of lifetime on earth.
I flew home from Macau the very same day she passed away.
During the funeral, mom was recounting an interesting incident to the relatives. Mom said a few days ago she brought Yan Yan (my girl) to see grandma, and mom asked Yan Yan if she could sing a song to grandma. To everyone's surprise, she sang a song that carried more weight than any other song. The song is Shi Shang Zhi You Ma Ma Hao (Mom is the nicest person in the world). She was just 2 years and 5 months old.
So I missed my farewell. Yan Yan was filling in for me. And she had done such a good job. I held her tight in my arms. I was both proud and ashamed.
Grandma was buried in the morning of January 18th. While everyone was standing up solemnly for some rituals, Yan Yan walked around, looked up, made funny faces. A few of the aunties could not help but smile at her.
Yan Yan continued to mess around and she had no idea what a good deed she had done.
posted by steve tan at
4:39 PM
2 Comments:
May your grandma rest in peace. My deepest condolence on your loss.
... thanks..
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home