quote of the day

EMPLOYERS have been reminded not to put up job vacancy advertisements with a prerequisite for candidates who speak Chinese, reported China Press. The daily quoted Human Resources Minister Datuk Seri Dr Fong Chan Onn as saying that his ministry’s officers have been told to relay the message to such employers. “Employers should provide language courses to workers who are poor in a particular language.”

Well said. The above rule, if strictly complied, will produce a job ad like the following.

Professor of Chinese literature needed. No Chinese proficiency is required. Chinese training will be provided.

And you would wonder why we need any prerequisite at all, for any job advertisements. Every skill can be trained, given infinite amount of time and resources.

Today the CNN reported that according to some of the past letters written by Mother Theresa, she actually found no God in her life for the past 50 years.

This news is quite comparable to a recent news regarding Hitler, who had, evidently, listened to Jewish music secretly. Both discoveries could practically overturn the belief system of billions of people.

I wouldn't be too surprised if one day historians discovered that Bin Laden actually enjoyed Simpsons and Sex and the City.

Inspired by all these, I have come up with a witty pick-up line, for those who need it.

Let's say you are pursuing a girl who hasn't shown any interest in you.

"Please, join me for a dinner". You said.

"John, I like you, but I am sure this is not going to work. We are from different worlds".

"Jenny, don't be so sure of this. You know, even Hitler listened to Jewish music, and Mother Theresa actually has found no God. Anything could happen in the world! Let's give it a try, will ya?"

"Ok, pick me up at 7".

gift

8 DVDs of New Yorkers, covering issues from 1925 to 2006, are now in my hands.

The sudden possession of 82 years of New Yorker magazines could be a little overwhelming. It's like inheriting a little fortune from a distant relative.

Where shall I start?

I could start by looking at those important years. Take for instance, 1929. What went through the minds of the people when the stock market crashed in 1929? And that very same year, F.Scott.Fitzgerald published a short story named "Autobiography" in New Yorker. It would be cool to read it.

So I settled for the issue on November 30th, 1963, because President Kennedy was assassinated on November 22nd. What struck me immediately is the choice of words. An article talked about what a group of Negro children saw, when Kennedy made a speech in Miami, few days before he was shot dead. The word "Negro" becomes a banned word now, but in 1963 it was accepted in mainstream literature. Secondly, it was interesting to note that President Kennedy was even more popular than president Roosevelt, in people's minds. The author wrote "If president Roosevelt, at the heyday of his popularity, had been riding through Tampa, he never would have got such reception!"

This is just the beginning of a long journey down the memory lane. All this fun is made possible by the Friendship Fund of Mr.Kim Thye Chua. These DVDs is a gift from him.

上个星期五到新加坡公干，适逢雨天，一路上飞机摇摇晃晃，咖啡也无法喝下。

空姐无法倒茶，只好暂停了饮料服务。

我从柔佛的上空望下去，大面积的沿海地区被开发，一片黄土，泥土在雨水的冲刷下，流入大海，形成一圈圈的黄色污水。

十点半左右，飞机驶出柔佛，直奔星加坡。首先映入眼帘的是星加坡密集的港口货箱。海岸线上尽是一片绿草，行人道，公园，错落有序地点缀着。跟两分钟前的柔佛景象有着这天渊之别。

飞机徐徐下降，低空飞过一间间极有特色的办公大楼，准备降落。离开地面只有五层楼高的时候，飞机突然急速上升。飞机飞上高空以后，飞机司开始说话。

“We apologize for the sudden ascend. We couldn’t land just now due to the sudden deterioration of the weather. We will need to circle the island, and make one more attempt to land. If we still couldn’t land, we will need to fly back to KL, due to limited fuel consumption”

飞机环岛飞翔，让我好好地看清新加坡美丽的海岸线。岸上都是绿油油的草坪，似乎整个岛屿就是一个高级高尔夫球场。

十五分钟后，飞机在暴雨中安全降落。

检查我的海关人员是一个二十多岁的巫裔女生，劈头第一句就是“How are you?”

我怔了一下，答“Great, thanks”

她的第二句话是“Have some candy”

我望了望放在桌上的糖果，不敢轻佻，递上护照后，才战战兢兢地取了一个糖果。

盖章后，她露出了一个极甜美的笑容。“Have a pleasant stay in Singapore”

我有点儿恍惚了，我究竟身在酒店柜台，还是严肃的海关？

会议在圣淘沙岛进行。午餐时间我跟同事们到附近的俱乐部餐馆用餐。餐馆设在海边。海边停泊这数十艘的私人游艇。我从餐厅的落地玻璃望出去，一边用餐，一边遐想这样的生活：在一个风和日丽的午后，我驾着游艇到对岸的印尼群岛来一顿丰盛的海鲜大餐…

傍晚七点，会议仓促结束。我回到樟宜机场。吃了一碗拉面后，到处走走。首先，映入眼帘的是一个叫SUDOKO 游戏天地的角落，10太电脑连线，让任何的旅客加入战场，免费玩数独。

另一个角落，数十台的脚底按摩器摆放着，任由旅客使用。

一群小孩子非常认真地在玩填色游戏。

无数的旅客陶醉在自己的手提电脑里，尽情上网。

每一个人都在忙着。

经过一整天的疲累轰炸，我已经不想跟任何用脑的东西扯上边。我步入一家免税烟酒店。服务员非常殷勤，让我试饮了五六杯各式Vodka。然后，我静静地坐在一旁，让酒精慢慢地放松自己的脑袋，听着微妙的爵士音乐，等待上机。

一个小时后，回到KLIA，放眼望去，什么也没有。旅客目光呆呆地，许多人都在椅子上睡觉。一流的建筑物，空洞洞地，形同虚设。

一天的新加坡之旅，竟可以体会两岸之间一世纪的差距。国庆五十年在即，国人仍不思进取，老爱挑弄族群游戏，固步自封，实在可悲。八十年代向东学习，跟日本取经。都是笑话。学到什么鸟东西？我认为不用日本那么远了。高官们有时间的话，到新加坡走一趟就行了。

Negaraku

Well, the headline today reads– “Student rapper apologizes”

It’s strange because none of the quoted remarks of Meng Chee mentioned about apology.

Meng Chee was reported to say “It has taught me a lesson about the spirit of nationalism and race relations. As a Malaysian, I did not intend to shame the country or ridicule any religion.”

Newspaper jumped into conclusions that he apologized. But there is no sorry in his words. What he meant could be simply this: This really taught me a lesson, opened up my eyes on the close-mindedness of you fellow citizens. Anyway, I still love you guys.

Meng Chee was reported to say“To end the controversy, I will remove the video clip from my blog and I hope other bloggers will stop distributing the video clip”.

Newspaper jumped into conclusion that he regretted. But what he means could be simply this : Right or wrong, I will remove the clip to end the unnecessary controversy. It doesn’t mean that I have erred or regretted producing that piece of video clip. It only means that I am in no mood to entertain any more false accusations. I want to move on.

In fact, Meng Chee, in his own blog, defended, rightly, about his song. The lyrics are merely descriptive, not judgmental. Furthermore, the national anthem is loyalty preserved in the song, without modification, and so there is no issue of modifying national anthem. He didn’t say sorry. He didn’t cry out loud for forgiveness. He is man enough to stand up for what he believes in.

Maybe his father said sorry on behalf of him. Or Maybe the government is too eager to hear what they want to hear to put an end to this, so that the celebration of national day two weeks from now is all rosy. That’s fine for me. This looks like a good solution, because Meng Chee has maintained his stand, while the public selectively listen to what they think they have understood to please themselves.

Bertrand Russell has this famous quote: "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.”. This, in my view, accurately describes the current situation.

History is never what it seems to be.

American Dream

今天有个报道，数十名异乡女子被关在东马的巴昆水坝森林地带，被逼充当性奴，为水利工程的职员提供性服务。昨日她们都被警方解救出来。真想不到，像这样的和平年代，竟然还有慰安妇的服务。

一些人要在一些偏远的地带长期工作，的确不容易。如何减轻员工的苦闷，思乡之情，是一门大学问。在慰劳员工这方面的工作，最有成就的要数美国人。

在一般人的想象中，美国大兵在伊拉克的生活一定苦不堪言。枪林弹雨不在话下，美国生活多么舒服，突然间来了一个那么大的转变，天天跟人肉炸弹为伍，怪可怜的。事实上，情况并非这么糟糕。有一期《纽约客杂志》重点报道处于伊拉克的一个美国军营的情况。

伊拉克机场附近，有一军营，名叫胜利营(Camp Victory).

军营里面有

1. Burger King
2. Baskin Robbin
3. 播放最新影片的电影院。
4. 完美的远动设备，包括游泳池。
5. 网吧
6. Pizza Hut
7. 类似星巴克的咖啡屋。
8. Hertz 出租车服务。
9. 修指甲的美容院。
   

总而言之，军营以外，烽火连天，生死由天，军营以内，就宛如生活在美国本土的一个城镇。该有的服务，都有。当然，性服务是没有的。美国人正义，不搞这一套。

最让我不解的是，为什么军营内会有Hertz 出租车服务。难道会有人要载着性感的女军官到Basra 或al-Balad 的市区兜兜风 ，观赏街头的枪林弹雨？人肉炸弹应该不会因为你驾Hertz 的车而手下留情吧？如果是几个哥儿们相约一起出游，干嘛不用军用车？

古代打仗注重粮食，现代的军人注重精神粮食，注重Life Style。美国人讲究实际利益，不吃爱国主义这一套。 白天跟你卖命无所谓，晚上下班回到军营就是我的美国世界。跟女军官一起喝杯咖啡，看场电影，远胜于日日夜夜看照片，数日子。

有趣的是，也有人不喜欢这么优越的兵营生活。竟然有个兵士发出这样的感叹： 我宁愿活的苦一点。这里太舒服了，让我更想家。